Evaluation Site

www.wix.com/christinalow/asthrillerevaluation

Final Draft

Fourth Edit Inspiration

When it came down to editing my fourth and final draft I concentrated on the feedback received from the focus group. Specifically on just cleaning it all, making sure that it all runs smoothly and there are no glitches in the sound or with the transitions.

I also extended the length of the credits to make them easier to read, and also by doing so, changed the non-diegetic music sequence at the end so that it is silence when the protagonist turns around. This was one piece of advice in particular that I took on from the focus group.

Third Draft Focus Group Feedback

After I had completed my third draft of my thriller I arranged for a small focus group of some of my friends who are currently sitting A2 media studies to take part in. I allowed them to watch the video as many times as they wanted to and asked if they could provide some specific feedback, drawing from their own media knowledge. I then got them to type it on my laptop. This way it made their comments anonymous, which I think helped as they did not have to feel guilty above giving negative feedback as it would be seen that it was them who did it. Below I have typed in the feedback:

Positive

• I liked the non-diegetic music and how it builds up at the end.
• The camera flashes were good and it’s good how you have incorporated the credits into the story and it all flows.
• I like the little bits of dialogue as it brings the character to life as you see that she is just a normal girl talking about seemingly normal things, and you have more empathy for her because of it.
• The pictures that have been graffitied of Chloe are good and quite shocking to the viewer and it sets up the antagonist as being really evil.
• I like the two shot used at the end as she opens the door, it builds up the pace and you try to look at both frantically, which almost represents what the protagonist is doing.

Negative/Advice

• Maybe add some diegetic sound at the start as it feels weird watching these actions with no sound. Maybe add some more dialogue in?
• Vary the names in the opening credits as it ruins the effect when the same name is repeated. Also add what the person does instead of just a name.
• The scenes of Chloe (the protagonist) walking drag on a bit, maybe add in more camera flashes for them or just cut down the shot time.
• Make sure that the credits are there long enough to read them because some of them pop up too quickly.
• Maybe have silence in the non-diegetic music at the end just as she turns around as the silence could build more tension than the actual music.

Inspiration for the second edit

When I began to edit my first draft and make improvements I decided, partly from my feedback and partly from experimenting, to have the camera flashes as a running theme throughout the piece, and also use it to introduce opening credits that run throughout the video, instead of just at the end.

Breaking the video up with the credits helped to improve the pace, which then lead to me adding more camera freeze frames in the actual narrative to try and build up more suspense. Showing the audience that the antagonist is nearing in on the protagonist.

Walk through

How doing Research Helped Me and what I learnt from it

Second Draft Feedback from AS Media Studies Group and teacher

Evidence in the work of the creative use of any relevant technical skills such as:

• holding a shot steady, where appropriate; (minimal, basic,, proificient, excellent) BASIC – Unsure of when it is supposed to be shaky for example, during the bush sequence with the P.O.V. shot .
• framing a shot, including and excluding elements as appropriate; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) EXCELLENT -Liked the shot of the woman opening the door, it built suspense
• using a variety of shot distances as appropriate; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) EXCELLENT – Good variety of shots eg. when hand is opening the door, more close-ups for the antagonist
• shooting material appropriate to the task set; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) EXCELLENT – Liked setting
• selecting mise-en-scène including colour, figure, lighting, objects and setting; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) EXCELLENT – Street lamps were effective for lighting eg. one could see the facial expressions and gave an eerie atmosphere
• editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) PROFICIENT – Pace needs to be increased eg. to increase the climax
• using varied shot transitions and other effects selectively and appropriately for the task set; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) PROFICIENT – Scroll effect wasn’t effective as it didn’t fit in ie. could be used with the book of photos, could be seen as a ‘cartoony’ technique
• using sound with images and editing appropriately for the task set; (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) PROFICIENT – Sound was a tad jumpy between flashes of camera and music, should consider layering sound so music can continue underneath sound of flashes, the target sound effect worked well at end
• using titles appropriately. (minimal, basic, proficient, excellent) PROFICIENT – Font and colour, framing was good – suited the genre but needed more titles, could place production titles at beginning – establishes atmosphere of genre

• holding a shot steady, where appropriate; POVs are jarred for effect and purpose. This area is affected by the limited number of shot types. Basic/proficient. This area is still affected by the limited number of shot types. Other shots are relatively steady. Proficient.

• framing a shot, including and excluding elements as appropriate; Components of the mis en scene are framed well on the desk. Once again, this areas is limited, for the the number of shot types is minimal Basic/proficient. Proficient. Same as earlier.

• using a variety of shot distances as appropriate; Very limited, A number of POV shots. Close ups are not used to develop reveal the emotions of the character and to reveal the atmosphere of the narrative. Basic/Incomplete. More close-ups can be filmed to help reveal the narrative/emotions of the character. Although, this is slightly better. Basic

• shooting material appropriate to the task set; Narrative is appropriate. Proficient. Proficient/Excellent. Conventions of a thriller are used.

• selecting mise-en-scène including colour, figure, lighting, objects and setting; The setting is good and costume is used for effect and purpose. However, the lighting is below average (this is impaired by the graininess of the video) Basic/Proficient. Work has been done to adjust the lighting. Proficient.

• editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer; Continuity editing is used. However, the creative use of editing is not done. The pace is slow. The audience is waiting for something to happen. Basic. The pace is still slow. This still needs work. Perhaps the improvement of titles will allow this to flourish. However, the camera shots and ‘picture in picture’ technique you use is excellent. Proficient/Excellent. PACE, PACE, PACE–Manipulate it.

• using varied shot transitions and other effects selectively and appropriately for the task set; Some very good wipes used to blend the two settings. The camera freeze frame was nice. However, this not done enough. Thus, is it done for effect anf purpose? Basic/proficient. The wipe does not work. I wonder why it was used. The wipes are still excellent. Think about why you are using cross fades for effect anf purpose. Proficient/Excellent

• using sound with images and editing appropriately for the task set; The use of the non diegetic sound is blended well. However, the use of natural sound or lack of sound is either minimal or non existent. Basic. This is improved. However, some work must done to ‘clean up’ the camera sounds and areas where the atmospheric sound is bridged together. Also, think about how silence can be used and how sound without images can be used for effect and purpose. Proficient

• using titles appropriately. Titles are not used appropriately. Title sequences must include a number of ‘titles’ and the people involved. This component has not been successfully understood. The end title of the film is very good. The other titles (only a couple), however are not creatively done and do not work together with the manin title (the continuity of these titles is off). The font, colour and size of the titles are very good/excellent. However, the organization of the titles and the number of them is still not fully understood. Basic/Proficient

Additional comments 

·      Consider opening the sequence with non-diegetic sound and a black screen. This will help develop/introduce the atmosphere.

·      Your titles colour, font and positioning is good. However, your titles are still not done correctly. More titles are needed. Plus, the CJL logo should be at the beginning. Watch the ‘Catch me if you Can’ opening and titles. There are 27 titles in that sequence. That is a little too much. But you need to understand this to progress grade boundaries.

·      The non-diegetic sound jumps at 12 and 19. Make sure this is a smooth transition.

·      Good graphic match at 3 sec.

·      No roll transition at 21. Why done?

·      Some of the camera shot ‘folleys’ are cut off at the end. Make sure they are clean and crisp.

I found this feedback very useful as, as it was completed by Media students, they could give me a much more specific and detailed feedback. Also, they know the mark scheme so they know what would need to be included in order to the improve the overall grade. I am going to try and incorporate as much of this feedback as possible in order to firstly get a higher quality final product, and secondly to try and improve my grade by further adhering to the mark scheme.

Second Draft

After taking on board the feedback that I received for my rough draft, I tried my best to incorporate it into my second draft, in order to make an overall better product. I think that the main criticisms that I tried to take on board was the idea that the shots were all too long and it was not filmed from enough angles. Also, the opening credits were not in fitting with the theme. In order to try and rectify these problems I filmed a large chunk of it again, capturing more shot types and angles. I also completely reworked the opening titles. Then as it came to editing, as I had more footage to use, I had a lot more freedom to experiment with different editing techniques.

Below I have embedded my second draft:

Rough Cut Feedback

Questionnaire Feedback

When collecting feedback, like with my animatic, I created a questionnaire for people within the target audience to fill in, however, this time I made the questions a lot more open so that the people filling it in had to give more specific detailed and were not influenced by what suggestions were already on the sheet. Below I have embedded all of the filled in questionnaires using slide share.

  

Teacher Feedback

•holding a shot steady, where appropriate; POVs are jarred for effect and purpose. This area is affected by the limitted number of shot types. Basic/proficient

• framing a shot, including and excluding elements as appropriate; Components of the mis en scene are framed well on the desk. Once again, this areas is limitted, for the the number of shot types is minimal Basic/proficient

• using a variety of shot distances as appropriate; Very limitted, A number of POV shots. Close ups are not used to develop reveal the emotions of the character and to reveal the atmosphere of the narrative. Basic/Incomplete

• shooting material appropriate to the task set; Narrative is appropriate. Proficient

• selecting mise-en-scène including colour, figure, lighting, objects and setting; The setting is good and costume is used for effect and purpose. However, the lighting is below average (this is imparied by the graininess of the video) Basic/Proficient

• editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer; Continuty editing is used. However, the creative use of editing is not done. The pace is slow. The audeince is waiting for something to happen. Basic

• using varied shot transitions and other effects selectively and appropriately for the task set; Some very good wipes used to blend the two settings. The camera freeze frame was nice. However, this not done enough. Thus, is it done for effect and purpose? Basic/proficient

• using sound with images and editing appropriately for the task set; The use of the non diegetic sound is blended well. However, the use of natural sound or lack of sound is either minimal or non existant. Basic.

• using titles appropriately. Titles are not used appropraitely. Title sequences must include a number of ‘titles’ and the people envolved. This component has not been successfully understood. The end title of the film is very good. The other titles (only a couple), however are not creatively done and do not work together with the manin title (the continuity of these titles is off).

Summative Comment

This is a basic video that lacks the creative use of camera shots for effect and purpose, diegetic sound, effects and titles for effect and purpose. Pace must be developed. However, the elements of a thriller are apparent.